A lot of times I feel as though I'm a guest at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.
Little things to everyone else become huge catastrophes for GM.
And then these "catastrophes" and the attempts to fix them have to be fixated upon and repeated over and over ad nauseum till I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
One common one that happens involves Timmy and/or Danny and either or both of them wanting to be let out at night.
That sounds reasonable, right? One or two little nocturnal pets who want to be let out to do their business in the backyard every now and then at night time.
But no. To GM it is a HUGE CATASTROPHE if I let the cats out and crack the door for 30-60 seconds so they can come back in after they're done. It's always, "Why is the DOOR OPEN?!!" Then I reply that the cats are out and
GM says always says "Well they NEED TO COME IN!!!" We NEED TO SHUT THE DOOR!!!"
Never mind that in 30-60 seconds the cats will have gone on the lawn and have come back inside where it's warm.
A small variation to this is that Timmy (usually, but sometimes Danny) will go and stand by the back door to let us know that he wants to go out. In this scenario, GM is usually in a good mood (at first) and will walk over and open the door for him. Timmy will then watch her do this but won't go outside. Then she'll notice that Timmy hasn't gone outside and will tell him that "Ok," but that now she "HAS to SHUT THE DOOR." GM will then shut the door and go sit back down. Then 3-5 minutes later, Timmy will go back to the door and repeat the scenario with GM all over again. Then wait a few minutes and repeat. Wait a few more minutes and repeat. Over and over and over again. And GM will forget for quite awhile that she and Timmy keep doing the same thing over and over and over again until some small inkling about it latches on to her brain. She then FINALLY gets frustrated and grumbles at Timmy and then goes and sits down. Then a few minutes later, Timmy will get up and stand by the door. ***I*** will then get up and open the door. Timmy will then go out for 30-60 seconds and do his business and then will come in again. Then I'll close the door and we'll go back to watching TV again. By this time GM will have usually distracted herself with the newspaper or a crossword puzzle and will not have noticed that Timmy is back and that we are all back to "normal" again.
A Guest at the Tea Party
Stop Complaining
Ok. I know it is kind of odd for me to be complaining about GM's complaining, but she does it A LOT. And her usual way of complaining is something she did even before she had dementia; she will make a statement and then wait up to 30 seconds and then repeat what she just said, e.g. "It's terrible!...Just terrible!"
Only now, like dementia patients do, GM will say something and then a minute later she will say it again because she forgot she had just said it. So this goes on all the day from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep at night. And a vast majority of what she says are complaints. Picture "It's terrible...just terrible!" X 500.
Be that as may, here's some of her usual complaints:
The weather is sunny and like 65, 70, or 80 degrees+: "It's ice-y!...Just ice-y!" Or a variant on that is: "It's cold!...Just cold!"
And of course, well suited for any occasion: "It's terrible!...Just terrible!" Or a variant on that is: "It's horrible!...Just horrible!"
Or even though the refrigerator and freezer are full of food and GM just ate five minutes ago: "Fix me some food! I'm starving...Just starving!"
Eesh.
I've told her, she complains more than me and I have cancer.
But oh well.
That's just what she does.
Sticky fingers
One thing I always have to be very careful of is the GM likes to go around the house and cart away various belongings of mine and do strange things with them. One common thing GM likes to pick up and cart away is anything that looks like laundry, it doesn't matter if it is folded or clean, if she finds it she puts it straight into he washing machine. GM also enjoys going into my room and picking out random items, such as one pillow from my bed or the cane I used when I sprained my ankle and putting it into her room. The latest thing GM took was my my cell phone. Thank God I had the ringer on because it rang and I found it tucked away in her purse...
If GM's awake then she won't let me sleep
This morning, GM woke up before me and as usual when that happens she could not let me sleep. That is one of the reasons I have a lock on my bedroom door; so she won't burst in on me. However, GM can still knock and that is quite effective in waking me up...
GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
Me after being totally startled and awakened: What!?
GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!
Me: Go away!!!
GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!
Me: Stopping Knocking!!!
GM: Oh.
***5 minutes pass.***
GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
Me: What?!!!!?
GM: THE CAT WANTS IN!!
I then give up on trying to sleep and get up, open my door and greet Timmy, and go into the kitchen to see what GM is up to.
After my diagnosis
There have been many changes since I have been diagnosed with breast cancer in October of last year. But due to GM's dementia,
she has not noticed any of them. It is kind of interesting because while time continues to fly by 
for me, it almost stands completely still for GM.
For example, when I went to get my surgery 
done, I was recovering at my Dad and Step-mom's house and GM didn't notice that I was gone for three weeks.
Since then I have had my first chemotherapy infusion 
(My second infusion is coming later this week). And like last time, after chemotherapy I am going to hang out and be sick at my Dad and Step-mom's house (so I don't have to look after GM and her dementia-related idiosyncrasies [that will be another post all on its own] as well) and Auntj and Unclej will be doing my usual GM stuff while I am gone.
In the meantime, chemotherapy's most infamous side effect chose to show itself yesterday and it continues today (and probably will continue for a few days after). My hair is now falling out. 
GM hasn't noticed that I have been going around the house leaving big giant handful's of hair on the furniture. Yeah I do clean that up but I don't always catch it immediately. Yesterday my hair still sort of looked ok but now it is very patchy and is still falling out. I have since put on my little green hat (that a friend of my Step-mom's crocheted) both to keep my head warm and because I feel weird walking around with big bald patches on my head (I did have my hat off for part of the day and GM didn't notice anything was up with my hair.). I know it will continue falling out and look even weirder tomorrow.
I am glad GM's illness keeps her from fully realizing what is up. Before her dementia she would have been very worried about me (and also about Unclej who has colon cancer.).
Cast of Characters
I thought I’d introduce you all to my cast of characters. There are many, but to start with I have included those who are present at the house most frequently.
* * *
This is Me. I’m 33 and live with my GM who has dementia. I help her out with the daily household type stuff and keep her company. The plan was always for me to stay with her for a little while, get enough hours to move out and support myself and then GM would go on to live with AuntJ and UncleJ (because GM’s dementia has been getting worse.). However, in October I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then stopped working. But AuntJ and UncleJ are cool with me putting “the plan” on hold for awhile so I can just concentrate on getting treatment.
This is GM. She is 83 and has had dementia since right after GP died in 2002. Her biggest challenge (in my opinion) is that she has no short term memory. For example, she will microwave a cup of coffee and will forget that it’s in there before it is done. GM is also prone to random anger outbursts which can be challenging for both of us as she often says mean things when she’s upset. But luckily, even though her short term memory is lacking, GM still knows the stuff she learned a long time ago and that allows her to keep up with her favorite hobby; doing crosswords. :-)
This is Timmy. He’s about 18-ish years old and he’s the alpha cat in our household. He enjoys being petted (As long as he knows you) and drinking water out of cups or buckets (but will drink it out of his cat dish if nothing else is available. Timmy dislikes people food about 99% of the time but has been known to eat a Cheeto or two if I let him. Timmy does get bugged though when GM throws people food into the cat dish. He hates that and will usually come get me and stare at me and then his dish and meow until I take the people food out. Timmy’s best friend in the whole wide world is Danny. Although every so often Timmy has to gang up on Danny and remind him that he, Timmy, is the boss.
This is Danny. He is about 13-ish years old and he’s the beta cat in our household. He also enjoys being petted (Even if he doesn’t know you, it’s ok as long as you’re nice to him) and drinking water out of cups or buckets (but will drink it out of his cat dish it is the easiest thing for him to do). Danny loves people food, as well as cat food and comes into the kitchen to investigate if someone’s eating when the microwave dings. Danny always sits next to GM and stares at her until she throws some people food down to him. Danny will eat almost every kind of people food (the other day I caught him stealing and eating some of GM’s cheese) but does turn down people food on occasion (like I remember he turned down some apple pie GM threw at him), but he always likes to know what being eaten so he can investigate it and see if he likes it. Danny’s best friend in the whole wide world is Timmy. He doesn’t seem to mind Timmy showing off his dominance once in awhile and is content to snuggle up next to Timmy and go to sleep.
This is AuntJ. My mom was her younger sister. She is married to UncleJ and does something-or-other with trading stocks. She handles all the “big” GM things like her medical stuff, her bills, and her shopping. She comes to visit with GM several times a week and they do crosswords together. :-)
This is UncleJ. I forget exactly what his profession does but I remember it was highly technical. He had to stop working when he was diagnosed with colon cancer 3 years ago. He has let me know he is there if I need to talk about cancer/chemotherapy stuff. :-)
This is UncleB. He is AuntJ’s older brother. He is an independent contractor. He lives a bit north of us but comes down to visit with GM once every week or every other week depending on what his work schedule allows.
This is the vortex that lives in GM's room. It periodically sucks up small items and transports them to another dimension (i.e. the Dementia-Dimension).
These items can going missing in said dimension for long periods of time; sometimes years even.
Then the vortex will spit the items out and we'll find them again.
Items sucked into and spat out of the vortex include but are not limited to, remote controls, keys, hair brushes, combs, make up, medicine, skin care products, the masks I wear outside when my immune system is all screwed up from chemotherapy, jewelry, important papers, pajamas and socks.
