A Guest at the Tea Party

A lot of times I feel as though I'm a guest at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.






Little things to everyone else become huge catastrophes for GM.






And then these "catastrophes" and the attempts to fix them have to be fixated upon and repeated over and over ad nauseum till I don't know whether to laugh or cry.




One common one that happens involves Timmy and/or Danny and either or both of them wanting to be let out at night.






That sounds reasonable, right? One or two little nocturnal pets who want to be let out to do their business in the backyard every now and then at night time.

But no. To GM it is a HUGE CATASTROPHE if I let the cats out and crack the door for 30-60 seconds so they can come back in after they're done. It's always, "Why is the DOOR OPEN?!!" Then I reply that the cats are out and
GM says always says "Well they NEED TO COME IN!!!" We NEED TO SHUT THE DOOR!!!"


Never mind that in 30-60 seconds the cats will have gone on the lawn and have come back inside where it's warm.


A small variation to this is that Timmy (usually, but sometimes Danny) will go and stand by the back door to let us know that he wants to go out. In this scenario, GM is usually in a good mood (at first) and will walk over and open the door for him. Timmy will then watch her do this but won't go outside. Then she'll notice that Timmy hasn't gone outside and will tell him that "Ok," but that now she "HAS to SHUT THE DOOR." GM will then shut the door and go sit back down. Then 3-5 minutes later, Timmy will go back to the door and repeat the scenario with GM all over again. Then wait a few minutes and repeat. Wait a few more minutes and repeat. Over and over and over again. And GM will forget for quite awhile that she and Timmy keep doing the same thing over and over and over again until some small inkling about it latches on to her brain. She then FINALLY gets frustrated and grumbles at Timmy and then goes and sits down. Then a few minutes later, Timmy will get up and stand by the door. ***I*** will then get up and open the door. Timmy will then go out for 30-60 seconds and do his business and then will come in again. Then I'll close the door and we'll go back to watching TV again. By this time GM will have usually distracted herself with the newspaper or a crossword puzzle and will not have noticed that Timmy is back and that we are all back to "normal" again.

How to tell GM is afoot

Stop Complaining

Ok. I know it is kind of odd for me to be complaining about GM's complaining, but she does it A LOT. And her usual way of complaining is something she did even before she had dementia; she will make a statement and then wait up to 30 seconds and then repeat what she just said, e.g. "It's terrible!...Just terrible!"

Only now, like dementia patients do, GM will say something and then a minute later she will say it again because she forgot she had just said it. So this goes on all the day from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep at night. And a vast majority of what she says are complaints. Picture "It's terrible...just terrible!" X 500.

Be that as may, here's some of her usual complaints:

The weather is sunny and like 65, 70, or 80 degrees+: "It's ice-y!...Just ice-y!" Or a variant on that is: "It's cold!...Just cold!"

And of course, well suited for any occasion: "It's terrible!...Just terrible!" Or a variant on that is: "It's horrible!...Just horrible!"

Or even though the refrigerator and freezer are full of food and GM just ate five minutes ago: "Fix me some food! I'm starving...Just starving!"

Eesh.

I've told her, she complains more than me and I have cancer.

But oh well.

That's just what she does.

Sticky fingers

One thing I always have to be very careful of is the GM likes to go around the house and cart away various belongings of mine and do strange things with them. One common thing GM likes to pick up and cart away is anything that looks like laundry, it doesn't matter if it is folded or clean, if she finds it she puts it straight into he washing machine. GM also enjoys going into my room and picking out random items, such as one pillow from my bed or the cane I used when I sprained my ankle and putting it into her room. The latest thing GM took was my my cell phone. Thank God I had the ringer on because it rang and I found it tucked away in her purse...

If GM's awake then she won't let me sleep

This morning, GM woke up before me and as usual when that happens she could not let me sleep. That is one of the reasons I have a lock on my bedroom door; so she won't burst in on me. However, GM can still knock and that is quite effective in waking me up...

GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Me after being totally startled and awakened: What!?

GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!

Me: Go away!!!

GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!

Me: Stopping Knocking!!!

GM: Oh.

***5 minutes pass.***

GM: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Me: What?!!!!?

GM: THE CAT WANTS IN!!

I then give up on trying to sleep and get up, open my door and greet Timmy, and go into the kitchen to see what GM is up to.

After my diagnosis

There have been many changes since I have been diagnosed with breast cancer in October of last year. But due to GM's dementia, she has not noticed any of them. It is kind of interesting because while time continues to fly by for me, it almost stands completely still for GM.

For example, when I went to get my surgery done, I was recovering at my Dad and Step-mom's house and GM didn't notice that I was gone for three weeks.

Since then I have had my first chemotherapy infusion (My second infusion is coming later this week). And like last time, after chemotherapy I am going to hang out and be sick at my Dad and Step-mom's house (so I don't have to look after GM and her dementia-related idiosyncrasies [that will be another post all on its own] as well) and Auntj and Unclej will be doing my usual GM stuff while I am gone.

In the meantime, chemotherapy's most infamous side effect chose to show itself yesterday and it continues today (and probably will continue for a few days after). My hair is now falling out. GM hasn't noticed that I have been going around the house leaving big giant handful's of hair on the furniture. Yeah I do clean that up but I don't always catch it immediately. Yesterday my hair still sort of looked ok but now it is very patchy and is still falling out. I have since put on my little green hat (that a friend of my Step-mom's crocheted) both to keep my head warm and because I feel weird walking around with big bald patches on my head (I did have my hat off for part of the day and GM didn't notice anything was up with my hair.). I know it will continue falling out and look even weirder tomorrow.

I am glad GM's illness keeps her from fully realizing what is up. Before her dementia she would have been very worried about me (and also about Unclej who has colon cancer.).